‘Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the Midday Sun’

 

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My Maths Teacher once stated to my parents that I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. I think I may have gone someway towards proving his point today.

Northern Territory. Great Western Desert. 40 degrees celcius. No shade in sight. Midday, the hottest part of the day. So what do I do? I go for a ride.

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Threw some fat 37c cyclocross tyres on the fixie and headed out into the desert. The ‘roads’ in the outback leave alot to be desired. Corrigations so fierce that children will not be on the cards in the near future. Sand. Deep sand. Rocks. Very sharp rocks. Very sharp spinifex grass. Thank God for Armadillo tyres yo! Saw numerous Camel and Dingo tracks in the sand. A Tinka (Sand Goanna) stopped to say hello. Reckon he was stoked I wasn’t Anangu as that crew would have cooked him up for lunch. I headed north of Yulara for about 2 hours until the road I was on became undiscernable, dissapearing into the surrounding desert. I mostly rode but occasionaly the sand became to deep and I had to get off and push. I could feel the sand burning the soles of my feet through my riding shoes. It was that hot. I decided to turn around when half of my 6 litres of water was gone. Good move. The return leg was alot harder. It had got hotter and now I was peddaling into a headwind. By the time I was back in town I was feeling a little funny.. I still had water left but I couldn’t workout how to cross the highway. Whilst pondering this problem a Tourist pulled over and asked me some questions about the Park. I couldn’t remember what Uluru was called and when he asked what else there was to see in the Park I just giggled and said the Helga’s. Incorrect Bennyboy, they were called the Olgas back in the day (Kata Tjuta now).. I was in the early stages of heat stress and wasn’t making sense. Kinda felt like talking to a Policeman after your 8th or 9th beer.

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I made it home and jumped in the pool. All good now, but I won’t be repeating the experience in a hurry. Glad to say that the Streamroller lived up to its name. Wonder if I’m the first fool to ride fixed gear through the desert?

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Author: Ben

Not Porter Ricks

7 thoughts on “‘Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the Midday Sun’”

  1. hahahahahahah…my god its hot here in india.
    35 here in varanasi. oly saving grace is that the airline lost my bike…

  2. I think you’ve forgotten the many, many hours we spent on intensive hydration training, Benny.

  3. Hey Ben that was nearly as stupid as me riding in the desert (admittedly on tar) without any spare tubes for my 29er. Thanks for the loan of the tube, who would have thought a 700 x 20/28 would fit a tyre that required a 29 x 2.2 tube. I owe you one.

  4. Heya Cousin,that looks an awful lot like the ridin’ we do in Arizona.Right down to the Steamroller.BTW,did you modify that one?The rack mounts and brake bridge look like someone’s been tinkerin’…

  5. “Corrigations so fierce that children will not be on the cards in the near future.”

    Wrong!

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