Category: Bikes

So im sitting here at uni, listening to Dinosaur Jr’s “Feel the Pain”. Pretty fitting considering its going to be my soundtrack for Saturday…Come on down to Kellevie, feed me beer, food, drugs or whatever. Get naked, throw shit at me. Feel my pain, Solo for 12hours, 32×17. Its gonna be awesome. Im going riding tonight to see what its like to ride in the dark. Can i count it as training too. Its about the only riding i’ve done.

Oh and by the way Dan is out of rehab…www.shifterbikes.com

Ok, so I’m just ripping off content from Bill, (and a few days late none the less, despite being a few hours ahead) but this is an interesting column piece from the Times over in bad teeth land (England). Ignore the random tripe in the bottom half, it’s the top stuff that you might find interesting. I love a good, angry, pro-cyclist rant, especially one that tackles the ol’ red light issue. After taking part in a university study regarding the attitudes and opinions of cyclists and motorists (towards cyclists), I was left fairly bloody shit scared. Reading the end result and the quotes from motorists, I finally realised how much bloody danger we are in when we’re out there. People actually want to kill us. They fantasise about swerving into us, or deliberately dooring us, or using actual weapons to gun us down. What the fuck? How can a simple form of transport inspire such hatred? I’ve always been an aggressive rider when I’m on the street. I’m sure I’ve documented it here, but I’d rather have someone aware of me and angry, than completely oblivious to my existence. I’d also rather stay as far ahead of cars as possible, where I’m visible and obvious, and hopefully not slowing anyone down. Apparently this just makes me an object of rage though, so it’s obvious you can’t win. The solution? Ride like a mad fucker, take your life into your own hands, and do what it takes to stay alive on your bike.

Sure, it’s important that we have well mannered, hi-vis clad cycling advocates who are doing their best to make things better for us (I honestly salute you guys, you do good!), but it ain’t going to stop some angry redneck bogan fuckwit with a small dick and a big car from taking it personally when I overtake him and retaliating by putting me under when wheels of his truck. Similarly, it’s not going to stop the middle aged family man who’s heading to work and gets sick of being passed by someone on a vehicle that costs 1/30th of what his car loan is worth, and looks like they’re having a lot more fun than him, and as such decideds that a love-tap is what’s deserved. And it sure as hell isn’t going to stop the fucked up, angst-ridden, sexually confused and over-homeworked P plater from thinking the ultimate display of superiority is to rev their engine and speed past an inch away from my bars travelling at twice the legal limit.

The fact is, nothing’s going to stop that, no matter what we do. Motorists hate us and there is no rhyme or reason to it. We can do no right, and when we try, it’s wrong. Our existence is a bane to the egos of motorists across the world, and we’re not going anywhere. So as far as I’m concerned, getting there alive is priority number one.

But I’ll try and be polite about it along the way.

Don’t be a half arsed cunt! Come along and support something good. I’ll buy you a beer.

Yo. Bottles and Chains sticker packs now availible.  If you want one here is what’cha gotta do.. Send $5 and a self addressed, stamped envelope to:

El Presidente

Bottles and Chains

127 Waterworks Road

Dynnyrne  TAS  7005

Easy. Trick up your pony.

It’s back, bad spelling and all! The annual suffering of the masses hosted by Andy over at Fyxomatosis, the Melburn Roobaix. Each year professional riders jump on expensive bikes and destroy them over kilometers of mud, dirt, cobblestones and grass in France. Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe a bunch of regular people jump on bikes and make themselves hurt on the rutted and bumpy back alleys of Melbourne. Everyone ends up sore and tired, but the Melburn Roobaix participants no doubt end up a lot drunker, and without the comfort of a team masseur. Either way, you know it’s going to be a shitload of fun, and you can win some stuff that’s much cooler than a rock. Click the image below for all the details over at Fyx HQ.

The MTBA National series came to town on the weekend, and BnC were in loud attendance. Saturday saw Hunnibel taking the commentry stand in a fairly offical-like role as the 4X battles were waged on the hill above. Apparently putting in volunteer hours to help out the locals doesn’t give you enough brownie points to get away with drunken actions though. This was proven as the ol’ boy was banned from the event by UCI officials after getting his pasty white cock out and flashing it at XC riders, whilst a bunch of poor, innocent children stood terrified near by. At least the youth of today are getting a good, hard (?) dose of reality nice and early. Drinking is bad for you kids!

Sunday saw a few of us crawl out of bed, stumble into the bottle shop, then haul three cartons of beer half way up a stupidly steep hill. We decided to stop before someone died from heart failure, and set in for a long day of abuse, encouragement and repeated attempts at making guys riding big bikes and wearing funny helmets eat shit into big piles of rock.  Highly succesful for the most part, with numerous complaints, death stares, and muttered insults. It’s all about adding to the atmosphere, and if you want to race pro you’ve gotta handle the heckles. We managed to scare off at least one course marshall, offend a lot of people, and probably educate a few more kids on the woes of substance abuse. The end of the day saw the worst night club in Hobart (Halo) filled with drunken riders, before retiring to the ritzy-as-fuck Monza hotel room for more drinking, and someone threw a tree off the balcony.

Overall, a good weekend. A few people wondered why this kind of thing doesn’t happen at state rounds, and I’m starting to think that the suggestion may have been foolishly made. Any excuse for a beer (or ten), right?

This is a general warning to anyone riding trails around the place, be they singletrack or fireroad. A rider was injured over the weekend by a length of wire strung at head height between two trees. The wire was spotted at the last minute and so the injury wasn’t as serious as it could have been, but there was still damage done. The incident occurred on a descent that is normally ridden at high speed and it was only lucky timing that meant the rider wasn’t going full bore.

There are vigilante morons everywhere at the moment, setting booby traps that have the potential to seriously injure or even kill riders. It’s a sad state of affairs, but one we all need to be very wary of! This is the second similar occurrence in a pretty short amount of time, at two separate trail locations, so keep your eyes open. If you do find something, alert the police so they’re aware of this becoming a dangerous trend.

Please spread the word about this, cheers.