Hellbound And Pedalling
I love a good Riot. Being tear gassed in Bolivia, seeing dynamite thrown about by angy farmers and thinking how it good it would be to be back in London smashing shit up. Then i came across this. Not naming names but if he was there you can bet there were a whole bunch of of kids i used to work with doing the same.
Gasmasks and Balaclavas anyone?
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So im sitting here at uni, listening to Dinosaur Jr’s “Feel the Pain”. Pretty fitting considering its going to be my soundtrack for Saturday…Come on down to Kellevie, feed me beer, food, drugs or whatever. Get naked, throw shit at me. Feel my pain, Solo for 12hours, 32×17. Its gonna be awesome. Im going riding tonight to see what its like to ride in the dark. Can i count it as training too. Its about the only riding i’ve done.
Oh and by the way Dan is out of rehab…www.shifterbikes.com
I love em. Who doesnt really? I know you do. Im not into big ones though, I only have little hands… I also like to get drunk and cause trouble. So what better way than to come out to Glenorchy (pronounced nooorkey by the friendly locals) this weekend and get amongst it. Join the crew as we shout and abuse some XC whippets as they stomp around the course. Bring an air horn, a megaphone, some couches and plenty of beer. I will be somewhere on course trying to ply all those riding with beer at the top of the main climb. Bonuses will be awarded to those ‘serious’ athletes that partake. If thats not enough excitement, come throw your empty beer cans at the guy running the start gate of the 4X in the arvo. Chances are its gonna be me. So come get abusive, start a fight and see if we cant all try and destroy the afterparty…
There will be tight lycra, i will warn you but fingers crossed there may be some fit boobies hiding beneath that tight lycra in the crowds. We can only hope and keep our eyes peeled…
Okay kids, its getting silly, it must be nearly Christmas. The fitness campaign has been abandoned, the 100k plus singlespeed rides have suddenly stopped and all that good work is quickly being undone in the lead up to those few weeks of mayhem. If everyone else’s behaviour is anything to go by, im way up there in my preparations. Last Sunday’s early morning ride was the icing on the cake. Me, i like an early morning ride, you get to laugh at the leftovers stumbling home from their Saturday night. Pity it was in reverse…Riding home at 6am is never a good idea, being pissed as a fart doesnt help either. Being a showoff and pulling skids is just a recipe for disaster.
So the moral of the story is dont pull candybars while paraletic. Inserting your foot through your spokes is never a good idea. Its worse when you have bladed spokes i found out…
Nice to see these awesome people are onto it. Makes me wonder how i ever made it home from London in one piece
Its out there, im putting it out there so i know its out there. 25 is back. Throw me a lager im broke. So who wants to race…anyone keen for a hellcat. You guys have seen nothing, this will destroy you. Details to follow. Who wants to step up to the plate?
Im half a world away but i can almost hear the soothing tones of Hobart beckoning. Its got to be better than the “mister, mister” or “where you from sar”, i keep getting from all these bloody Indians. If only Bill’s brake would let me sleep at night though. All it wants to do is go hit the piss and look for hookers. I dont know what Bill’s done to this poor young fellow. Lets just say i think he was brought up with a rough crowd and has had a terrible father figure in his life. I know he’s got a complex, he’s an old shimano 105 without much bling credentials. Im trying to tell him that you dont have to be a record or a dura-ace, its what you’re attatched to. Being the open minded brake he is, he replied “i know, i just want to mount myself to some fine freewheeling italan steel”
I will see what i can do…
Word is out, but bills brake just wont listen. He (she maybe…) wants to see the world. So its on like donkey kong and his (hers) adventure has begun. Delhi and the waters of the Ganges have been conquered and we are both going for tea tomorrow in the hills of Darjeeling. Bill, your brake does love you but thought it was time for you to fend for yourself…
Yo kids, management seem to have worked out this intermail eweb thingy and the site is back up. So heres a quick update from the Mother Country. After several months of living the dream, drinking far too much alcohol and tearing my arse out on the super smooth and well maintained streets of London, its all over. Time to cash my ticket in and head back to the little island. I came, i rode, i survived. Just. If we were talkin footy, the number of hard ball gets and tackles laid is way up there. Pity none of them paid off. I left bruised but not broken, expensive cars were left with a permanent impression of me and as for the black cabs…my last shepherd came off badly. Still, riding alleycats paraletic and playing chicken with solid objects is never a good idea. So goodbye to all the cats in London, i had a hoot and Taz 25 is outta here…ya cunts
So the scorecard…
Number of drunken crashes – lots
Number of sober crashes – not many
Number of drunken crashes remembered – not many
Number of riders who windmilled the pink panther on windmill street – 3
Okay been a slacker, its all going down, the beer and me after it riding home drunk. I went to scotland, i survived and came home. There was a courier race in there somewhere. If you guys have a spare half hour sit down and have a listen to this. A day in the life of the kids im working with…
Buffalo Bill and the Nhatt Attack…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/pip/fxfcu/
Its all good times here. Its all go at the mo
http://www.londonscalling.info/
http://www.houseofpistard.com/
http://www.millportpoloco.blogspot.com/
Hunnibell
