8am. Sunday Morning. Eastside, Alice Springs.
Post boozy Saturday night, Benny rolls out his singlespeed for the first of the ASCC short-track race series. The 12km singletrack course snakes around the very rocky hills above Alice.. all techy and pea-gravel sketchy-ness, ..so NOT the course for a fuzzy headed BnC’er, especially one with poor tech skills at the best of times. So what happens? With his brain function at minimal output, choosing rational lines through the never-ending rockgarden is simply not possible. Instead, Benny takes his 80mm of travel and just plows through EVERYTHING in his path and amazingly finishes in 3rd place! How? I don’t know.
Some respectibility returns to BnC. BOOZE brought back.
Kids, drink beer, it makes you ride better.
I see no proof of beer what so ever. It’s all hearsay. I bet you had a quiet night in under your nanna blanket and watched a few episodes of Ellen.
The difference between the above instance and the poor 24hr effort is as follows:
Above: No rumours of 2 quiet weekends leading into the event abound.
24hr: Flatmates of the ‘accused’ quoted as saying ‘you have to have a weekend ON before you can have a weekend off’.
Above: No one is holding a baby.
24hr: Photos of accomplices holding babies broadcast across the internet.
Above: The subject is a known beer offender.
24hr: The accused is a known beer abstainer.
Above: The subject has a proven track record of drinking then riding (Four Springs 12hr, Tahune, Hobart Carnival and Century Ride etc etc)
24hr: The accused has a proven track record of eating powerbars and hydrating with water (Four Springs 12hr, Kellevie 12hr, Tahune and Kellevie 24hr).
So who stays home and watches Ellen? In no position to pick up stones my boy …I hear your Nanna blanket matches your handlebar tape??
Ouchhhhhh. A deep and far-reaching burn.
I won’t bother with a blow-by-blow riposte, save by saying that on most occasions listed I was also suffering from hangovers, and for some reason my early nights seem to be remembered a little better than your equally as numerous bail-outs.
I suppose I have a reputation as a powerbar and hydration fiend that I’ll just have to uphold from here on in. Pity it means I won’t be allowed to hang out with the cool kids.
c’mon mate, bite back. Haha.
I can confirm that Benny did indeed drink beer the night before the above race, four of them in fact.
Two were consumed over dinner at an italian restauraunt, the other two in a hotel room while we watched a bad movie on austar.
Hardcore is not a word I would use to describe the evening 😉
Mish had the garlic bread (x2), an antipasto plate, the super family sized meat lovers pizza, a side of potato salad, gelato icecream and a plate of afterdinner mints before she stopped to buy a ‘family value’ packet of Samboy chips.
Trust me, it was hardcore watching that disappear.
THRE 7[JKLM,LL
Fingers to er, ‘big’ to fit on the keyboard darling?
well suckers,
prior to kellevie I put down 6 tinnies concluding at 12 midnight, then stayed up workin till 4.30am , slept till six and then headed back from town to home to collect my light charger and busted up to kellevie without touching a single powerbar!
and in case my style was’nt adequate, it was my grand 2nd attempt at mountainbiking so I win!
I would have ridden up as well, but was so fearful of that Grundy fella on his L-Plates