Affray! Fracas!! HULLABALOO!!!

Right. It’s generally well known (according to an Australian Magazine, Anyways…) that Rotorua has the best trails in the world. We also have the best facial hair in the world. That’s right. Breath it in, Liam. Soak it up. I would have posted a shot of of my eyes but they were filled with such righteous masculine intensity that they would have punched through the monitor screen into your brain hole. Yes indeed, Liam..or anyone else. Think you can do better? Await instructions. Ah, I’ve had enough of you panty waister’s, I’m going hunting.

AH, FERK IT.

My computer is steam driven. I lost the photo I had taken. So, bearing in mind the completely played out nature of “pirates” I present to you the below. Liam, I got you a little something. It may help. Now… As I said above

1) Await instructions

2) I’m full of righteous masculinity

3) I’ve had enough of you panty waister’s, I’m going hunting (again).

4) There may be free beer.*

*Really**

**Really Really

They wouldn't unbundle

Symphonium for turning one’s self inside out

Fugazi: Red Medicine, Jesus Lizard: Boilermaker, Puss, Dancing Naked Ladies Red Fang: Prehistoric Dog, Night Destroyer Blood on the Wall: Mary Susan, The Pixies: Tame, Slint: Good Morning, Captain, The Mars Volta: Day of the Baphomets

Place on repeat, spin and spin until you are throwing up a little bit and your legs are screaming like Mexican villagers in a spaghetti western. Continue reading “Symphonium for turning one’s self inside out”

Short and to the pointless

Isn’t life strange?

One day, you’re just sitting there living in the city that isn’t the host of the 2010 World Singlespeed Championships and the next day, BAM! you are!  What’s got two thumbs and is apoplectic with excitement? This guy! I don’t know much more than that at this stage and will post back when I know more details. You can all come and stay with me though. Benny has the spare room, so you can fight over the couches/air mattresses.

SPRING BREAK!!!!! CANCUN!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!.

(ahem).

It’s been quiet on the riding front over here for me of  late, however next week I’ll be stepping out with another rigid SS riding gentleman as a team in the Whaka 100. Should be a blast.

Rapha moment? Rapha moment? well….I sure don’t want to be left out when it comes to Rapha moments.

SHAZAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!

My favourite bike (EVER) part the second.

Peace 3Peace 2Peace 1

My 2009 GT peace 29er is my favourite bike. I bought it last December as a “second bike” and within a month had sold my fully suspended and multi geared trail bike. I love the simplicity and utility of this bike. It’s the first bike that I’ve ever owned that I can imagine never selling. Being a family man on a single income I’m happy with the (relatively) small expense in running this thing. The drive train and tyres at the moment are at the palliative stage, having been worn to a nubbin by some 4000km of  Rotorua single track over the last 8 months, however bar a bottom bracket re-grease and new front ring it’s all butter.  I have new tyres (Kenda Nevegal 2.2 up front and Specialized Fast Trak 2.0 out back) all ready to put on when the weather becomes less shit, and before the Whaka 100km in Oct I’ll go all indulgent and slap a Surly cog and chain ring on ‘er. (32 20 for them that care)  Apart from that, there she is. Oh, The Thomson seat post is the most bling bike part I’ve ever owned, and coupled with my Charge spoon saddle my bike has comfortably and elegantly carried 90kg Matty hither and yon countless times in the paradise of mountain biking that I am privileged to have on my back door.

Fk I love this bike.

You’ll thank me all for nothing at all/Legends

Drunk Benny says I must write. Drunk Benny says I must start my post off with a photo of this guy. Hey, I don’t make the rules…. So here he is.

tony-brown

Tony Brown apparently, according to Benny, is a Legend. Tony Brown, according to Wikipedia was the agriculture minister for the Isle of White(sic), or some shit. Anyhoo.

I was going to talk about my last outing in the short course of the winter series last weekend and all, but you can learn about that over here if you want to (and other cutting edge things such as new fashion trends). However, the more I thought about the idea more it just seemed lazy. So then I got thinking about legends (Thanks Drunk Benny!!). If  Benny gets Tony Brown  then I would like to introduce you all to someone whom, the more I think about it, qualifies as a legend. Someone whom, whilst very new to our fair sport (art) fairly glows incandescently with his love for the two wheeled, rigid, and single. The man has gumption and determination in spades.

Everyone, Say hi to my Dad. Keith.

 Helaylikethatfordays

Some background: Now, brother K up top here decided to re enter the bicycling world after some 17 years off. Tipping the scales at well over a metric 100, 60 years old and with little to no experience riding off road. That was back in April. Dad rode with me twice down here at Whakarewarewa before deciding to enter all three of the long course Enduros for the ’09 season with a voucher he scored by winning the 20km SS cat at the Highlander (I highly recommend the long course. Well worth the trip over) on only his second time off road on an SS !!( A hoopty ass, ghetto home job, which he totalled on Billy T). Long story short it’s now July and he’s two races into the series. The fitness increase and weight loss has been sustained and impressive. Every time the man goes out on into the forest astride  his new ride,”Penny” (29er, SS, rigid) I’m sure he gets a year younger, several degrees calmer,confident and more humble. He’s bullheadedly gone out (again with little to no off road chops) and done both the long course enduros so far and is all hyped with a view to the third one, 50km of single track at Whakarewarewa in August. It’s an amazing (and reassuring) sight to see him come over the finish line and have him tell you, with a slightly glazed expression that he fell off (which he does a bit of) and landed on his Gels 5km in exploding the bottle that they were in thus forcing him to either lick his thighs or go without. It’s stunning, that this quiet, methodical and historically risk averse man will now calmly explain over dinner “I thought to myself when I came off, Ah, I’m on my head again. I knew that because my feet were above me, in the air”, smile and then keep eating. I guess why I’m around to thinking that my Dad is a legend is he’s just getting out there and doing it, sure, it nearly kills him and he hasn’t been DFL but he’s been close, but it doesn’t matter to him in the slightest. It’s a million miles away from my experience of late (worrying about not training enough, not this not that etc etc) and as loath as I am to say it, I could learn something from his “just get out there and do it” attitude. It’s still nerve wracking riding events with him, as I’m in front a bunch going “ah, will he pull that off?will this hurt him? Have I killed my Dad?”. But you know what? he’s made it through every time.

Thanks to his love of bikes Dad’s life has (more than likely) been lengthened and the quality vastly improved. It’s given us something of interest in common (no mean feat) and strenghtened our at times distant relationship. It’s a great thing.  To paraphrase Steve Smith, my Dad can ride a bike pretty well, but is slow. However I’d rather spend three hours in the woods with him, tooling around and learning about stuff (like how to enjoy riding a bike again) and talking, than I would “Getting rad” or knocking out hot laps by my self on some endless hampster wheel training ride. So, here’s to my Dad and his legendary (and at times quixotic) pursuit of the SS dream. Ride on, old boy! Ride on.

Long Distance Runner

“Morphic resonance is a term coined by Rupert Sheldrake  in his 1981 book A New Science of Life. He uses the expression to refer to what he thinks is “the basis of memory in nature….the idea of mysterious telepathy-type interconnections between organisms and of collective memories within species.” 

I was thinking about BNC tonight, Thinking “jeez, they’ve invited me in with open arms and here’s me with nothing worthy to talk about”. Then Benny happened. He happened to me through “a social networking site” and reminded me that I’d taken the blood oath of BNC (“cut the sides don’t touch the back”) and I hadn’t put out yet. Why wasn’t I putting out? So here I am, increasingly convinced about morphic reasonance and putting out, as it were.

It’s weird being back here in the innards of The BNC site, kinda like they’ve left the side door open and I’ve just wandered on through. Even though I’ve been invited in, and I’m currently sitting on my floor in Rotorua, It feels strangely eerie. First off, I’d like to say that I’m somewhat humbled and embiggened (J Springfield) by the glowing introduction that Mr Storer dropped on y’all recently. Here it is again if you didn’t catch it the first time

NZud Rotorvegas local, and full time SS’er Matty Rayment is a good bloke. He rides a rigid 29er, plays punk music and likes drinking beer.

At the risk of appearing somewhat of a fraud I feel I should clear some things up. The first part up to being a good bloke is all true. Yup, all-single-all-rigid-all-29er-all-the-time. Okay, I’m a good bloke as well. The second part, well… I used to play in a punk band, but they moved overseas. And then I moved from the smoke to here…By this time having sold all my gear to buy bikes. I also work, study and have a family. As for the Rotorua punk scene? Hmmmmm. Not so much. I don’t like drinking beer. I love it. Jesus, I adore beer. But I don’t drink it much anymore for a mix of reasons, the main one being my kids don’t give a fuck if I’m hung over or not ” It’s six AM, and we’d like breakfast, please”.  Sounds pretty sad don’t it? I do however ride my bike a whole lot, think about why I (We) ride a whole lot and think about (and listen to) music a whole lot. I do race (after a fashion, mainly against the clock) and feel somewhat out of step with other’s at events (is it because I’m medicore? maybe…)I also believe that riding bikes and music, “punk” music if you will are intrinsically linked.

BNC and I were meant to be together. I love the “everyone welcome” ethos and the apparent (distinct) lack of pretension. What grabbed me initially though, was that the kit that Benny was sporting at the NZud SS champs had a record label on it. Right on the chest. A DIY record label at that.  You had me at Hello.

Which lead me to think about the ‘scene’ (be it music or bikes) and all this talk of the DIY, the independent and the generally more thinking man’s (or woman’s) approach to life and how to live it. When I get down this track I’m always drawn to what is, in my opinion the pinnacle of independence, the DIY and the resistance of the thought that “one good idea sandwiched between ten thousand bad ideas will translate”. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Dischord Records. Soak it up.

Out of all this glorious, riotous clamour and hiss, the rage and noble stupidity one band for me stands above all. Fugazi. And out of their catalogue, one record stands above all others (for me). It is my number one bike riding-est record of all time. RED MEDICINE.

Red Medicine was recorded by Fugazi in January 1995 and released on the above Dischord records on June 12 1995. There were no singles off the album (Fugazi don’t play that) No Videos (see former). I vividly remember the first time I heard Guy Picciotto  sing “You should pay rent/in my mind/say like the french say/bonsoir regrete” It floored me, and my path was pretty much set from then on.  

Fourteen years later, that song, “Do You Like Me?” remains the most romantic thing I have ever heard, and when Brendan Canty’s bell and the Dictaphone mic guitar squall that opens the song hit every single time I get that same thrill. It helps to let me know that I am alive. On the bike this record helps me up the hills,(and down them for that matter) . Ian Mackaye’s harmonised cries of “I don’t wanna be defeated” during Bed For The Scraping gets me to the church on time. 

In short, the record is big, sexy, strident, noisy, dynamic, affirming and intelligent. You’ll read a lot of stuff about how this album was their move from “hardcore” to “art rock”, and yes.. if you wish to put some labels on it that make this stuff easier to disseminate then yeah, I guess. To me, it sounds like people making something that was great and exactly what they wanted to make. Two very precious commodities in today’s day and age. This was a record that was released independently by a band that put on their own (exclusively all ages) shows, didn’t sell merch…. hell, they didn’t even have a light show. They believed all that stuff detracted from the music.  

This is an album that starts all sexy, gets loud(er) goes noisy in the middle (Joe Lally’s contribution, my number one bass playing man crush idol ever), then there’s a dubbed out sax instrumental, then finishes on an upward tragectory that STILL TODAY, RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE (I got it on the headphones) MAKES ME WANT TO INTERNET SHOUT, RUN AROUND, KICK THE TV WITH BOTH FEET AND JUMP OUT THE WINDOW (in a good way).  I can’t do it. I’m sorry, I tried not to but I’ve degenerated into an almost evangelical rant, but sod it to hades, I’m amongst friends, right?

SO…

I emplore you . Listen to Fugazi. Find some (here’s a clue. ITunes) put it on and go for a ride. or a walk, or sit down and listen to it. If you don’t know them (and/or you think that Blink 182 invented Hardcore in 1998) It will present a different (and hopefully refreshing) way of thinking about how music/art/bikes/whatever is presented. If you do like it, hopefully it will become a new soundtrack to your ride (It’s pretty much the soundtrack to my life), it lends itself well to scenery. If you don’t like it, hopefully it will challenge you a little, give you pause, and make you think. If you do know Fugazi (and I believe that many o’ the BNC’ers do) put ‘em on anyway. Treat yourself.

This post might make you think about “what does Fugazi have to do with Bikes?” “how does this relate?” “ Where’s the red ano?” “Who the fuck is this guy anyhow?” But, you know what? It just does, in my mind it fully relates. To me riding bikes and music/art like Fugazi is about thinking about things a bit more, and thinking about things a bit differently. Look at this site, the inclusive nature of BNC (another precious commodity in a sport which is known for it’s Internecine bloodletting) Then look at a band like Fugazi and tell me there is no commonality there. Thinking rules, thinking about stuff differently rules (and is challenging and scary at times). Arriving at one new thing, i.e. Fugazi#, a different bike, be it fixed, free, geared, single, cruiser, downhill or cross will hopefully lead to other new things. And by doing new things we’ll learn and grow. Awesome. 

 

#Or anything else for that matter.