Tales From The Crypt

People of the world, greetings from the vast expanses of the universe…or something like that.

Those amongst you with greater powers of observation may have noticed that this bumfuck of a site has been fairly quiet of late.  Apart from a few posts with content, it’s mostly been talk of things that were coming up or rumoured to be happening, and then very little follow up. This is due in (most) part to the fact that I am an incredibly lazy person who speaks often of doing things like updates, or making phone calls, or organising bike rides, and yet end up doing very little of any of that. Those of you who are regular readers (small in number and the subject of much pity, no doubt) would realise that this is a repeated theme around here. So let’s make an attempt to remedy that, shall we?

Firstly, go tell all the people you hate that the BnC website might start getting some more content a little more frequently. Also, let them know that I have been approached with offers of cold, hard cash in exchange for advertising ugg boots on this “fashion blog”. I shit you not. I want you all to know that I could have quite easily been sitting here in a brand new pair of delicious sheep feet whilst unashamedly linking to some random muppet’s skin boots. But no! The faint odour of integrity that sometimes wafts up from the BnC bed sheets is thickening to a musty stench once again, and damned if we’re gonna clean it out any time soon.

So anyway… late last year we once again held the annual BnC Grass Track Slalom event in Hobart. Boxing day saw a fine selection of old men and young children loitering around a tree in a park, supping on beverages and tittering nervously. After some friendly banter things eventually got under way. As per usual, the afternoon consisted of large numbers of people on bicycles kooking it on various levels and inevitably ending up on the ground in a pile of hurt and metal. Fun for all.

I honestly can’t say I remember who won, if anyone. I’m fairly sure that Kiwi retained the previous year’s Croc Cup simply by default, and probably because no one else wanted some aged plastic kid’s shoe strapped to their bike. As with most of these events, things got rather interesting after everyone packed up and headed to the pub. Memories are fairly hazy, and those of you so inclined can no doubt track down various photos involving inebriated BnC members out and about later that evening, usually making complete fools of themselves. I myself ended up awaking on a strange couch in a house filled with people I didn’t know, at 7:30am the next morning. Safe to say I made a swift exit.

For those who missed it, here are some photos. For those who made it, maybe this will bring back some memories. For those who we may have crossed paths with…sorry.

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The 2010 Australian Single Speed Nationals

Would you believe it’s happening again? Apparently people love riding in inappropriate clothing whilst sporting a bad hangover and memories that will haunt them for life. Who can blame ’em? The Aussie SS Nats are always a shitload of fun (I’d imagine, I’ve only actually been to one, and I may be biased). Most of the time you don’t even need to own a single speed bike, so long as you don’t mind sacrificing a gear cable or two. They tell me riding a singlespeed is all about sticking it to the man, so I’d recommend wearing a sex pistols t-shirt on the day. I’ve yet to find any man and stick it to him, but I’m sure you’ll all have more luck than me.

Anyway, enough bullshit. Get involved, you won’t regret it!

Hi all

Registration is now open for the 2010 Australian Single Speed Nationals.

The 2010 Australian Single Speed Nationals will be held in the legendary Majura Pines in Canberra over the weekend of 10-12 September 2010. Festivities kick off on Friday night with racing to be held on both Saturday and Sunday. There’ll be a hill climb, a time trial, tests of skill, courage and determination, and of course the XC race. Camping will be available at Innabaanya campsite adjacent to Majura Pines and there’ll be a fun-filled social program.

Sponsors include Coopers, Mal-Adjusted Bicycle Emporium and shhh! bikes and we’re finalising details with two other major sponsors.

Numbers are limited so get in early with your registration. We’re also bringing back the Australian Single Speed Nationals anti-jersey but you’ll have to be quick as jersey orders will close on 15 July to ensure jerseys are available for collection on the weekend.

Check out the website – www.ssnats.org.au – for all the details and to register.

Any questions, feel free to e-mail info@ssnats.org.au.

Please pass this e-mail on to any like-minded souls and start spreading the love.

See you in September.

Cheers

Michael

Canberra One Gear Society
www.ssnats.org.au

Breakfast Ridin’

So a few months back we went for a bit of a roll down south. Ben, Kiwi, Hunners and I loaded up and hit the gravel, making our way to Egg & Bacon Bay via a few choice back roads. Hunners came along on his SS roadie and peeled off after a while, while the remaining three of us continued on for an overnight stay and a fine selection of Tassie mussels, bad pub food and far too much (not enough) beer. I took along my ailing old digicam and took a heap of bad, over-exposed, blurry photos. Here they are, and it’s a fine tale they tell…

Epic? Nah.

BnC headed off on the much-anticipated Hobart Ouse Hobart ride on Monday morning. Nine riders it total, mounted on tourers, cyclocrossers, roadies, singlespeeds and track bikes. We rode up some stupid hills and I think the three of us who were stuck on fixed gear bikes quite soon realised we were a little foolish. Regardless, the ride was awesome and we rode through some awesome scenery and passed a heap of nifty little backwaters. A headwind plagued the first day, and there was a bit of pain darkening the beautiful sunshine and tail wind on the second day, but the ride passed smoothly without any mechanicals or offs, which is a sure sign that the cycling powers were keeping an eye on us. Ben walked a few of the hills, but kept claiming he ran into nude lesbian pillow fights and was forced to slow down to watch. Gus slowly opened his eyes to the joy that is a cycling chamois. And Damo rode the whole way in the big ring, as a way of showing solidarity with those of us on fixed gear bikes…smart arse.

I’ve come down with the flu as a direct result of being a useless unfit bastard who’s unused to riding any distance greater than three kilometres, so I’m not going to write any more than that. I’ll leave it up to Liam and his camera to tell the rest of the tale, and hope that some of the other guys can either post some more or throw up some photos (yet to get my film developed).

Roll on.