Okay, home from work after a nice British day, im serious, it was hot and the sun shone. But before you continue, be warned this is a rant, im drinking fosters, its been a while and i need to vent. Life here ticks along and the paperboy is getting his bearings ever so slowly (thank god for my A-Z).
Im still Londons slowest courier (or half arsed) if the last alleycat was anything to go by, but at least my DNF was due to excessive alcohol consumption influenced by my lack of fitness and the inability to hack the pace. Thanks to the pistette from the house of pistard for towing me round for a few checkpoints.
So today was awesome…on my way to work and as with everywhere in the world, the copper on a powertrip pulled me over. Actually it was a group of 20 or so running into our collective path and sheperding me and several others into the barrier. Very TDF. So it was “book a guy on a bike running the red light day”. My personal officer for the day asked for my ID, the Tassie licence came out and raised a few eyebrows. After running an immigration check thinking i had made his day he found out i was actually a UK citizen. My first point! My only one though and rapid Sam Hill speed downhill from there. My smirking and smartass comments didnt help either. Where was the gun and my foot? He actually pulled out big words like “agrophobia” in explaining to me why it was pushbike red light day.
I saw his point and felt sorry for the blind teenage girl who developed this affliction after some fucker clipped her while she was crossing at this set of the lights, but diplomacy is always the key. Still the calling her family with the news seemed a bit far fetched. But then he went on this rant and finally the penny dropped…here in London there is a program where members of the public can sign up and “do there bit for public safety” and become a community support officer. Effectively, volunteer your time and say you are a copper.
His stock rose and mine fell after the red flag was waved in my face and i asked if he was a school teacher and that since he didnt have the balls to control his own class he could bully the public and wear a police badge for the day. He flew off the hammer and as i giggled he threatened to arrest me because i couldnt prove where i lived.
So me being me shut up but continued to giggle fearing i may be sent to the corner with a bad note sent home to my parents or maybe detention. So he gave me the option to take the fine or BE ARRESTED!
So i took his paperwork and made my way sheepishly to work for my radio and PDA. Either way its 28 days to fork over 30quid. But whichever way you look at it, i broke the law, i know that but winding up Mr. Plod and having a giggle seemed like a mornings entertainment for me and ended up in a quick 5 to 10 minutes becoming half an hour. Everyone else was donig it so why shouldnt i?. Another London first
I am surprised you stopped.. geez you musta got fat and slow..
not fat, just more whippet like without the speed and a thirst for beer. plus it was raining and id been at work all day. just excuses really