Bottles And Chains

I love em. Who doesnt really? I know you do. Im not into big ones though, I only have little hands… I also like to get drunk and cause trouble. So what better way than to come out to Glenorchy (pronounced nooorkey by the friendly locals) this weekend and get amongst it. Join the crew as we shout and abuse some XC whippets as they stomp around the course. Bring an air horn, a megaphone, some couches and plenty of beer. I will be somewhere on course trying to ply all those riding with beer at the top of the main climb. Bonuses will be awarded to those ‘serious’ athletes that partake. If thats not enough excitement, come throw your empty beer cans at the guy running the start gate of the 4X in the arvo. Chances are its gonna be me. So come get abusive, start a fight and see if we cant all try and destroy the afterparty…

There will be tight lycra, i will warn you but fingers crossed there may be some fit boobies hiding beneath that tight lycra in the crowds. We can only hope and keep our eyes peeled…

I know there are a heap of heads out there looking for cheap track frames or complete bikes, and it’s an absolute motherfucker to find anything these days. This is doubly true if you want something that’s got true, steep, fun track geometry and won’t fold in half if you lean it against a pole. I stumbled over the FGG today for the first time in a long while and dragged a sweet find out of their reviews. It ain’t super budget, but it looks like an absolute winner.

The site in question is that of Alien Bikes. Based in Norway but shipping out of the US, Alien Bikes specialise in good quality track gear at decent prices. The thing that got me excited is the look of their track frames. They’re made of double butted steel with very nice looking lug work and rock solid track dropouts. The geometry is the way it should be on a track bike, steep and tight. Wheel clearances are minimal and you can tell these things will handle fast and furious. The forks aren’t drilled for brakes, but can be if you want, and they’ll even do it for you. To keep prices down, you even have the option of buying the frame paint-free and rocking a DIY job on it. Hot damn, it’s all good!

The price on these things isn’t dumpster-diving level but for what you get and compared to current pricing, it’s bloody awesome. You can get the frame and fork unpainted and shipped worldwide for US$469, which translates roughly to AU$725. That may seem like a hefty chunk of change, but when you compare it to something like a Surly Steamroller that’s going for close to AU$1000 then it’s not bad at all. Sure, you need to get it painted, but you’re getting an awesome looking, traditional style lugged steel frame with a wicked geometry. Rare as hen’s teeth these days! Grab a couple of cans of spray paint for $30 and you’ve got yourself a custom colour scheme.

They also do some pretty well priced hubs and cranks, as well as a super cheap 103mm bottom bracket (I swear the cheapest I could find was up around $70 a couple of years back).

So if you’ve got a few spare dollars and want something super solid to build a bike around, I’d definitely be checking out the Alien bikes. Read the review of FGG mainly for the photos, cause the guy who wrote it seems a little senile and doesn’t really review the frame at all. It’s got some great shots of the lugs though.

Click on the image below to check out the Alien Bikes gallery.

Link: Alien Bikes Website

Those of you with sneaky eyes or too much free time may have noticed the new ‘Shop’ link up the top, and probably the new graphic over on the right there. If not, have a look now. What it basically means is that you can now purchase BnC race gear any time you damn well please. You don’t have to pay months in advance, you don’t need to mail any cash, you don’t even need to leave your comfortable chair. By clicking on the graphic down the side or the banner on the Shop page (shown below), you’ll be taken straight to the BnC page on the Sprint Design website. There’s a good chance they have no idea what kind of loose units they’re associating themselves with by letting this happen, but we’ll take advantage of their ignorance for as long as possible.

The best thing for you is that you can now buy jerseys, skin suits, polo shirts, bib knicks and other assorted fancy BnC gear safe in the knowledge that we’ll never get our dirty mits anywhere near your mum and dad’s cash.

So head on over and grab yourself something stylish. You’ll look beautiful, I promise.

If you like dirt, trees, and seeing people in pain then this weekend has it all. The Aussie mtb nationals series is down here for the 5th and final round, which means a heap of fit and fast people riding around in circles, over jumps, or down steep hill. It’s out at Glenorchy MTB park and is definitely worth getting along to check out. Bring a six pack of beer, grab your cowbell, and scream obscenities at people who can ride better than you. There’s even rumours that Sam Hill might show up and mumble something to himself. While he’s renowned as the world’s most useless ambassador for professional mountain biking, he sure knows how to play well with gravity. Luke Madill (of Olympic BMX potential-fame) will also be along for the 4X, and there’s a good chance a few other not-really-famous-but-with-familiar-names sorta types will show up. I know I’ll be there at least (ho ho).

My Disco are playing on the Saturday night at the Brisbane as well, so you can keep drinking there. And apparently there’s an after party on Sunday night at the most shitful hollow empty place around, The Observatory. At least you know that you won’t be embarrassed the next day after getting drunk, spewing on a few random strangers and abusing the bouncers. After all, they probably deserved it.

Don’t be shit, get involved. See you there.

Sifting through a box of my Dad’s old photos I came across a 16mm Newsreel that he had shot back in 1983 (The Old Bloke used to be a Cinecameraman for ABC Television).  We pulled the reel out of the box and held it up to the light in the window to see if we could ascertain what the subject of the film was.. Shit, it’s the old BMX track that used to stand where Rugby Park is today. Suddenly very interested, we peered closer to see if we could make out any of the bikes captured on film.. SIDEHACKS?! Whoa, awesome. Looking further down the reel there I was, 5 years old and watching avidly from the sidelines. Suddenly a light went on in my head and it all came flooding back.. I’d gone to work with Dad on a saturday and we’d gone out to the track to film a National BMX event. I remembered watching the Sidehack riders and their ‘monkeys’ whipping around the track and clearing the doubles. Hadn’t thought about this in years.. and being the bike-ho I am, these re-found memories planted another bike seed in my mind.

Scroll forward two weeks and I’ve decided that Bottles and Chains needs one or maybe two BMX Sidehacks in the gang stable. How could you go wrong with one of these bikes? Ultimate pub-run machine.. run ya pissed mate home, carry multiple cartons at once.. Alleycat utility machine, run a navigator or someone to hit the checkpoint whilst you keep the vehicle idling outside.. For the family man, no dorky kidseat or child-trailer and it would get ya kid off on the right path in life.. and imagine a BnC Sidehack race! Hunners on the pedals, Nic as the monkey beer in hand VS Grundy stomping the pedals and a light MP swinging out the side of the cockpit!! Fk, it soooo needs to happen. And the quest begins……….. THE HUNT FOR HACK. They are out there and we will find them.

If you can help us in our quest, please shoot us an email or fire one to me (benjamarn@hotmail.com).

Saturday March 14. 4pm. Pirate ship park above Salamanca. Bring the usual.

I’m posting this so I don’t flake out again. Poster soon. Get training!

See you at the pub.

Bruce motherfuckin’ Springsteen. They don’t call him The Boss for nothing. Easily one of the greatest song writers ever, and one a lot of us have grown up with (those who have grown up at all). So it must be confirmation that there’s some kind of higher power (or maybe proof that The Boss is actually THE Boss) when there’s a page on the internet with some of my favourite bands playing Springsteen covers, as part of some ‘official’ tribute. We’re talkin’ The Gaslight Anthem, Bouncing Souls, Tom Gabel, Ted Leo, and more.

Go check that shit out. Here’s a taster…

Whilst browsing the literature over at Fyxomatosis, a few happy snaps caught my attention. “Bloody hell, that’s Tasmania!”. Actually, it was the old track out at New Norfolk, where a few of the BnC crew had been a little while back. Draped over the fence was a damn fine looking bike, and a few clicks lead me over to Andy Bell’s Bellie’s Racing Blog. Tassie history and a damn fine restoration, all in the one spot. I’ve never heard of Cyril Abel before, but the paint job is damn impressive. I know there are a bunch of BnC faithful who’ll dig it, so go check it out.

Also, I want another 56cm track frame, anyone got a spare?

Previously mentioned Ride Like Heck gang leader Josh has been spending some time off the bike (which is how he spends most of his time to be honest), makin’ shit with his hands. Go look at his website, ’cause there’s some mad action goin’ down over there.

While We Sleep